Missed Opportunities

I’ve had a tough run of luck in 2010. This year alone, I have lost, broken or been robbed of three bank cards, two iPods, one passport, four computer chargers, one digital camera, two sets of house keys, one pair of shoes, three cell phones and one laptop.

Granted, I’ve never been accused of being overly careful with my personal possessions, but this seems a little excessive, even for me. I am convinced that all of Peru is conspiring against me… and then laughing heartily as I discover just how difficult it is to replace ANYTHING in this country. It often involves a trip to Lima, double the amount of money it would cost in the U.S., and weeks of waiting (or sometimes months, in the case of a passport or bank card). Don’t even get me started on the paperwork involved. I once tried to exchange a shirt for a different size here, the same exact shirt mind you, and it took me two hours, four store employees and no less than seven signed documents to accomplish my task.

I’m not sure if it’s a mistrust issue, arising from years of dealing with poverty and corruption, but Peruvians absolutely adore official documentation. If you want to meet with the director of the High School, for example, you must first take three copies of a meeting request to his secretary, each stamped and signed, and she will in return stamp and sign all copies, keeping one for the director, one for their files and the final for you. All this just to request a meeting… the actual meeting itself involves lots more paper, stamps and signatures. At first the process left me befuddled, but now I have been converted. I won’t even consider attending a meeting in town unless the proper channels have been executed via my secretary (aka host brother, Jhon). And I’m even on my second pad of stamp ink!

Anyhow, back to the issue at hand: my losses over the course of this year. Although the laptop was arguably the greatest setback (I mean, how else am I expected to watch all those bootlegs DVDs I’ve acquired?), a recent loss has utterly brought me to my knees. Somehow, both of my camera chargers have disappeared. With dead batteries and no way to charge them, my picture-taking has come to a screeching halt. New and hilarious events cross my path daily, yet I have no way of capturing them. Tragic. Absolutely tragic.

To add insult to serious injury, the last two months have been filled with more ridiculousness than I could have ever hoped for. Considering I am literally the only one in town who finds life in San Miguel odd and entertaining, I simply must share these things with outsiders. I realize the effect is not nearly the same without visuals, but in the interest of continuing to blog about this amusing life, I shall do my best to portray what my lenses currently cannot.

Top Things I’ve Wanted to Capture on Film, But Couldn’t:

1. The “New” Ferris-Wheel. While I mentioned in a previous blog that this year’s festival was essentially the same as 2009’s, I overlooked one major detail. This year included one additional joy for the kiddies… a shiny new ferris-wheel! Well, calling it new might be a slight exaggeration. Each seat consisted of two pieces of plywood roughly slapped together with rusty nails. I can only assume it was put together for the World’s Fair Paris, 1889.

Best part… are you ready for this?... the wheel was turned not by a motor, but by two guys grabbing the sides and pulling down in swift motions. I kid you not. The two guys did this for hours on end, night after night. I feel sure this provided more entertainment for me than for the kiddies riding on the archaic disaster-waiting-to-happen. “Sure you don’t want to hop on?” the wheel turners asked me multiple times, as I hovered around like a creep. No thanks… think I’ll stick to the firework towers for now.

2. Trick-or-Treat. If you read my blog from last year, you will know that Peru doesn’t celebrate Halloween, they celebrate Day of the Dead and All-Saints Day. Remember, party in the cemetery, complete with dancing, hot dog vendors and campfires? While this is all well and good, I still missed the traditions from my native land.

So I lectured to a few kids in San Miguel about costumes, going door-to-door and the bags full of candy that we know and love in the U.S. It was early October at that point, so I had forgotten all about it until Halloween day arrived and one of the little boys called me from his mom’s cell phone to schedule a time for his “trick or treat appointment.” Thank heavens I had just received a huge bag of candy from my aunt in the States, or else I would have ended up with some angry kids (I do recall mentioning the “trick” part could involve toilet papering and/or egging someone’s house. Stupid!).

Sure enough two little boys showed up at my door promptly at seven o’clock, dressed in what they thought to be appropriate costumes. One was a “dead zombie skateboarder” and the other was an “army killer with a knife.” They were so earnest and adorable that I ended up giving them half my candy stash.

Word spread like wildfire throughout the town that the gringa was giving out candy, so I ended up with every kid within a 5-mile radius, parading their homespun costumes and demanding their fair share of the loot. It cost me every one of my precious chocolates, but it was worth it to see them indulge in what I would consider to be one of the great American traditions.

3. Traveling in Style. Getting to and fro in rural Peru is always a treat. You literally never know what to expect. Sometimes it’s a good surprise, like when the car gets stopped for an hour as 250 llamas cross the road. Other times, not so good, like when you get stopped for three hours by landslides and impassible roads.

More often than not, however, the surprise comes from how many objects, living and non, can be stuffed into a mid-sized sedan. At current count, my record is eleven people, two large pieces of furniture, five sacks of potatoes and a crate of cuyes. It is certainly not unusual to carry animals along, as their owners will often sell them in the city for a better price. The question of how to carry a live animal is simple: tie it up and strap it to the roof. This is no new thing for me, but my last trip to the capital shook things up a bit.

We picked up a man along the road who was traveling with a rather large goat. He refused to put it on the roof because it was cold outside and he did not want the goat to pick up a sniffle… that could seriously lower his asking price, after all. Peruvians have a hard time saying “no” to anything, so the goat was hog-tied around the ankles and tossed in the back with the luggage. The goat was not pleased with this situation.

I happened to be sitting directly in front of it, so I spent the ride with his head on my shoulder, bleating as loudly as possible into my ear. I couldn’t even get upset, because it was just so funny. You would’ve laughed too, especially if you could’ve seen the picture.


4. Camp. This past weekend I had the pleasure of hanging out with 26 teenage boys, which always makes for some photogenic moments. The event was a leadership camp in Cajamarca run by us Peace Corps volunteers, and we each brought two upstanding kids from our town to participate. The kids participated in leadership activities, toured the local University, spoke with community members in a Professionals Panel and got the chance to interact with other adolescents from around the department. We also threw in some fun, and for many of them, it was the first time travelling to the capital city, first time riding an escalator (there is only one in all of Cajamarca), first time going to the movies and first time swimming in a pool.

While I really enjoyed watching them take interest in college courses, discuss future plans and improve their leadership skills, it was the social aspect that really made me fall in love with these kids. While they were all timid at first, by the end of the first day boys from opposite ends of the department were working together, joking with each other and even walking around arm in arm. It reminded me just how loving the people of Peru can be; they will show their affection toward you in a million ways, even if you were a stranger just the day before. After all, how many American boys (juniors in High School, at that) would put their arm over a male friend’s shoulder as if it were nothing?

Although I don’t have the physical photo, that image will forever remain with me.

5. Sheep-head Soup. It’s not that I’ve never eaten sheep-head soup… trust me, I’ve licked that bowl clean and asked for seconds. But when you witness the process of making it for the first time, it can come as a real shocker. For me, this event happened a few weeks ago when Uncle Tio 2 came to visit (Host Mom’s long-lost older brother who lives in the Jungle, not to be confused with regular Uncle Tio, who lives next door). To celebrate the auspicious occasion, we did what any regular family would do (at least in biblical times): slaughter a sheep. In case you’re wondering, watching a sheep being killed falls right in the middle of the livestock-death scale… worse than watching a cuy go but not nearly as bad as a pig.

The unpleasant part comes when you watch all the pieces coming out and realizing what you’ve been eating over the last year. I’ve learned from experience that ignorance is bliss when you tell yourself everything is breast meat. Those days, unfortunately, have been ripped from me, and I now know exactly what mondongo really is. Although I was generally grossed out by most of this, the fun and photo-worthy part came when we finally ate our sheep-head soup the following day at lunch.

I guess I’ve always just been served a bowl without looking in the pot before, because I assumed the name was just an adorable way of saying that sheep meat was involved. No, no, the title is literal, my friends. Mid-way through our bowls, Uncle Tio 2 opens the pot and proudly pulls out the entire sheep head, then commences to display it as a centerpiece on the table. I thought he was joking as he asked who wanted the eyeball. Turns out Grandma really likes eyeball. The entire family then bartered over ears, lips, tongue, you name it, as the poor little lamb was carved up, Thanksgiving-turkey style.

So for those of you looking to mix up the menu a bit next week, let me know if you’d like the recipe for sheep-head soup!

And Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!