Kim's First "Blogging for Dummies" Post

I have always found that laughter is the best, and sometimes the only, option for coping with strange situations. I spend a majority of my day laughing… usually at myself and often at my situations. As I find myself finishing up week three of 115 (but who’s counting??!!), I have made a list of my funniest experiences so far. I know that I’ve shared a few of these with a few of you, but humor me…

1. Cuy.

For those of you who do not know, cuy is the word for guinea pig in Peru. Everybody here has a mother, brother, uncle or cousin that raises cuy… and no, they are not pets. I made jokes before coming here about eating guinea pig, but it really is a common practice. On Father’s Day, my host family and I went to our great-uncle’s farm for some good old-fashioned family bonding. While touring around the farm, I was delighted to be taken into a basement FILLED with guinea pigs racing around. They are not quite large enough yet, but I’m pretty sure we are going back next weekend to grill up some cuy. Mom wouldn’t let me have a guinea pig for a pet when I was a kid because they were “dirty.” I’m actually glad for that, because now I can enjoy my cuy with a completely clear conscience…

2. Entrevistas.
Part of the Peace Corps training philosophy is hands-on learning and experience. I completely agree with this strategy, but it is certainly not easy. The most difficult (and awkward) is where we go out and “hacer entrevistas” or interview people in the community. We have to ask fun things like, “In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of this town?” I would feel ridiculous asking some of these questions in English, so imagine how much I enjoy doing this in my broken Spanish. A favorite past-time for us volunteers is to imagine what we must sound like to a native speaker. I’m sure it goes something like, “Excuses me, but may I to give to you a interview please?” or “How thinks you in the subject of marketing?” If you are ever approached by a foreigner in the U.S who does not speak English, I beg of you: be kind to him. I feel his pain.

3. Fresh food.

One Monday morning before class , I was making my way to the kitchen to brush my teeth, when I was greeted by a live chicken casually strolling around the house. My family did not have any chickens, as far as I knew. Nobody was awake, so I couldn’t ask why, exactly, the chicken was wandering about. I went into the living room to eat my breakfast, and the chicken followed behind, along with two more friends that seemed to appear out of nowhere. I assumed that we had just acquired some new pets; it was not until much later in the day that I discovered the chickens were not around for long. Shortly after I left for school, my host family killed the chickens and fried those puppies up for supper. I thought I’d win the funny story of the week award amongst the other volunteers, but alas, Jessica beat me: at a family reunion she was served soup made from EVERY part of the chicken… she literally had to pull feathers out of her mouth while eating it. *Note: although Jessica is the only one who has eaten the feathers, most of us have eaten every other part of the chicken… including the feet. Waste not, want not.

4. Horse Meat.

One Saturday we had a project called, “Mission Impossible,” which required us to go out and interview a formal and an informal business in the area. We were paired up and told that the group with the most unique informal business would win a prize. My partner and I asked a couple of locals (we will not reveal our sources, in the event that we need their help again) if they knew of any really strange business in the area. They told us about a slaughter house in the area that butchered horses and donkeys and sold the meat on the black market to restaurants in Lima. Bingo! This practice is illegal both in the United States and in Peru, so this was definitely an informal business. We took off in search of this prize-winning locale and, as it usually is, the journey was almost as great as the destination. The directions we had were pretty terrible, so we had to stop approximately 15 times to ask for directions. We ended up on the correct street, but the location was so hidden that we didn’t know which building it was (for some strange reason they don’t advertise). As luck would have it, two police officers were driving by, so we flagged them down and asked for directions. In hind site, we probably shouldn’t have asked policemen how to get to an illegal business, but I guess that’s where the “20/20 saying” comes in. Regardless, the officers were so obliging that they invited us to get in the backseat of the squad car, and they drove us the to the correct building. We pressed our luck a little by asking them to take pictures with us, to which they gladly accepted and even let us wear their hats. The policemen then showed us where to knock to be let into the slaughterhouse and stayed there to make sure we got in okay. Somebody came to the door, but wouldn’t open it until we identified ourselves. We had to lie and say that we wanted to buy some meat. We finally made it inside and explained that we were with the Peace Corps and wanted to interview them. At first the woman didn’t want to talk to us and even asked for Peace Corps identification (which we do not have). We just kept pestering her with questions, until she finally opened up, after which she gave us a full tour, explained their business process, took pictures with us and invited the entire volunteer group to a party in her town. I love this country.

5. Modes of transportation.

Everything about the public transportation here makes me laugh. First of all, the government-sponsored system failed miserably years ago, so the people came together out of necessity and started their own network of transportation vessels. The head honcho, so to speak, of this system is the Combi. A Combi is essentially a cross between a small bus and a large passenger van, with a driver and a money collector. The money collector also serves as a passenger collector; the Combi doesn’t really have any set stops, but it will pull over if it sees anyone standing on the road looking like they may need a ride somewhere. The money collector hangs his head (and often his entire body) out the door and tries to get people to ride on his Combi. The more passengers they can pile on, the more money for the driver and collector. Not only are the stops not set in stone, but the prices appear to be negotiable as well. Last year, they tried to raise the price for a trip from Yanacoto to Chaclacayo from 50 cents to 70 cents (a difference in U.S. dollars of about $0.07). This didn’t site well with the locals, so most refused to pay more. Now, you can get away with paying 50 cents, but if the collector makes a big hassle about it, you might have to pay 70. As a business volunteer, I get a kick out of this market-driven enterprise.
There are several other options for getting from point A to point B, but I’ll spare you the details on the rest, except for my favorite: The Mototaxi. A Mototaxi is a three-wheeled motorcycle with a cabana-like structure attached to the back. They are quite ridiculous looking, but the drivers make it even better by adding their own flare. You will probably see a Mototaxi pimped out with colored lights, rims, even airplane wings attached to the side. You will definitely see a Mototaxi with a cross and Bible scripture stickers on the back. This is somewhat ironic, because the drivers are without a doubt the worst drivers I have ever seen. I think they purposely try to hit people passing on the streets. A Mototaxi should really only hold two people, plus the driver.. Max. My family, however, will pile all seven of us in. It’s certainly cozy!

6. Dogs.

Peru has a bit of a dog problem: they are everywhere. It is difficult to determine whether they are pets or strays, because they’re all pretty much treated the same. Peruvians also like to put a sweater on a dog, even the strays. I don’t think you can actually buy dog clothing here, so people will use their old t-shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies, etc. Whatever is available. My favorite dog lives on my street somewhere and likes to strut his stuff in a zip-up Halloween vest. It. Is. Hilarious. I haven’t gotten a picture of him yet, but I do see this guy quite often as well.

7. Spuds.
In addition to Machu Picchu, llamas and cuy, Peru is very proud of….. Potatoes. If you ever visit Peru, be sure not to say something crazy like, “I thought potatoes were more of an Ireland thing.” You’re likely to get a swift punch to the face for that. The potato was officially invented in this country, and they have more than 2,000 varieties. During my first two weeks, I believe that I was served at least 400 different types. I have even eaten a purple one, and I’m not talking grayish-lavender… that thing was electric purple in color. It was delicious.

8. Water.
It’s a very strange reality to be faced with… my drinking water is never below room temperature, but my shower water is ICEY cold. Hands-down, the most difficult adjustment has been the cold showers. There is no hot water at my house, but not only this, the shower water is from a tank that somehow manages to stay freezing at all times. Most of you know that I don’t particularly love to shower anyhow, so imagine how much desire I have to bathe now. Add in the fact that I only have a 1 foot x 2 foot camping towel to dry off with and you may get the idea…